And this, my 100th post, goes out to my Dad. I wrote about my mom on Mother's Day and now it's time to write about my Dad. I don't think he really likes being talked about, so, sorry in advance Dad.
Just last week I (as I wrote) I went to Columbia, MO to find our new home. Nick was staying back with the boys and I was hyperventilating just thinking about doing the trip by myself. I called my Dad and sort of mentioned that I wouldn't mind him accompanying me, and without thinking twice he offered his Dad services. I haven't spent much time alone with my Dad. I went to the symphony once with him a few years ago when my parents had season tickets and my mom wasn't feeling too well. I don't remember what symphony we saw, but I do remember the conversations we had driving to and from and at intermission. Other than that one time, I don't know if it's ever just been me and my Dad. I am a middle child, so I was never in a position to be one on one. I have spent time with my Dad and Mom, or time with my Dad and my kids, but last week was 3 days of just me and my Dad. My Dad can be reserved, he's pretty quiet in large groups, he lets other people do the talking and just sort of absorbs it all in, or goes in his office and waits for the party to end. But when you get around to actually spending time with him, he's a great conversationalist. He thinks a lot. I still feel very much like a little girl around him sometimes, looking up at my Dad like he knows EVERYTHING. I have called my Dad many times asking him how to light a furnace, or hang a shelf, replace a window, pay my taxes etc etc. My Dad is the king of getting things done.
The house my Dad lives in, where I grew up for 20 years, is a testaments to my Dad's work ethic. There was never a Saturday of my youth that my Dad wasn't working on some huge project, like refinishing wood floors, building an addition or remodeling bathrooms. There isn't a single room in that house (or space outside) that hasn't been remodeled/reworked in some way. And not only did he do nearly everything by himself, he is a perfectionist and did everything right. When the red paint on the ceiling in the dining room was sheer he just kept painting it. I think he did somewhere upwards 10 coats. We were expected to work along with him and although I acted like I despised it in my youth, I really did and still do enjoy putting in a full days work in the yard or on the house. I loved to be in the garden and pick our fruits and vegetables.
Not only can he get housework done, he knows how to get business done. I watched my Dad bounce around a few jobs when I was younger. He was always good at what he did, but never settled in until he started selling insurance. The way he has excelled in his current job is amazing. He truly is a self made man. All of his success is because he works his butt off. He didn't get a degree or get handed a job, he struggled and found his way. He is this crazy well of insurance knowledge now. I sometimes wonder how he fits all of the information he knows into his head.
My Dad is incredibly supportive to our family. Each and every one of his kids have been helped out, assisted, employed etc by him at some time in our adult lives. This isn't to say he gives handouts. He makes sure we are independent as much as possible. All my friends found it so crazy that when I turned 18 my Dad said I couldn't use the family cars anymore and told me to buy my own car. When I couldn't qualify for a big enough loan I borrowed a couple thousand from him and he worked up an amortization chart where I paid him back monthly WITH interest. He didn't pay for my college. I had to work so hard to pay for it myself and pay for my car which pushed me further to pursue scholarships, which I was awarded, and made me take my academic life seriously. I graduated college with a 3.95 because I was motivated not to fail since I was in charge completely. My Dad can do tough love, but he also won't ever let you fall. In the recent past I have had a few acquaintances, women about my age with kids, whose husbands have died. It makes me wonder what I would do if something that horrible happened to me. I haven't been in the work force for a few years. I have been giving all my time and support to my children and my husband's career. But I am never too afraid because I know I would always have a good family to fall back on in cases of emergencies. I know that if something like that happened my Dad would take me and my children in and give me a job, at least until I got back on my feet. My Dad is always willing to help you out, but it has to be fair- if he loans you money, you pay him back. I felt like, in a lot of ways, I matured faster than my peers.I sort of had to. I think it's made me a much better person to be held responsible for things.
My Dad has a great testimony, and is a great teacher. He used to practice reading his high council talks to me before he gave them and I was always impressed to see just how honest and strong my Dad could be. My Dad believes in the power of the atonement and has been a great example to me that people can continuously get better and stronger.
A few years ago I put all my pictures onto an external hard drive, which Atlas then knocked off the desk and broke. All my pictures, from my high school, through my wedding, up to Atlas being 1 years old were gone. I called around, tried every avenue, but in order to recover anything it was going to be WAY out of my price range. When I told my Dad how much, he didn't believe me, or felt like he could get someone to do it for cheaper, and since my Dad is king of getting things done, I assumed he probably could to. He couldn't. I sent the hard drive with him after he visited us last Fall and he told me he couldn't find anyone who could do it for cheaper. It had already been a few years and was in the back of my mind, but I never forgot those pictures. When we came for Christmas my Dad handed me a little box. Inside was a new hard drive. At first I thought it was just a replacement for my broken one, but then he told me that he had sent ours in and they were able to recover about 70% of the photos and they were on the new hard drive. I think it was the best Christmas present I have ever received, at least it's the only one that made me cry out of happiness.
My Dad loves his grandkids. He has told me before that he feels like being with the grandkids is what my Mom would want him to do. I know he laments that my mom isn't getting the opportunity she glimpsed and loved so much- being a grandma. My Dad has filled her shoes as best he can to always be there for our kids. I have learned a lot about my Dad through watching his interactions with my children. They bring out a softer side of him. He's not so good with tough love for them, he can't help but just love the crap outta them. He has come to RI multiple times while we have lived here and I know it's mostly to see Atlas. They are the best of buds. My Dad gets down on his level and plays with him. He has a stamina for engaging Atlas that no one else possesses. Atlas will want you to throw a ball at him while he jumps on the bed: I can maybe do it 10 times before I am bored out of my mind and racing off to do something else. My Dad on the other hand, will throw the ball as long as he wants, hours even. He always listens to him and makes him feel included. He'll sit on skype while Atlas shows him all of his toys and games OVER and OVER. Maybe he just tolerates boredom really well, but I think he jut cares a lot about these little ones.
Thanks Dad for always being there for me and all the members of our family. You are the hardest worker I know. You are our security net that keeps us all together. We would crumble without you. We love you so much. Happy Father's Day!
