This is the sorry state Cosby is in today.

He had an appointment at the pediatric cardiologist yesterday where he was prodded endlessly while hooked up to many different machines. He was not interested in the ultrasound and cried the whole time. It was difficult. After a bunch of tests they hooked him up to this monitor. He has to wear it for 24 hours, which will be up here in about 1 hour, then I can finally take it off him and hold him close. The Dr. still thinks he is probably fine, but wanted to make sure that the premature heart beats have disappeared. If they haven't we will have to go through all of this again in two weeks, so let's hope they are gone!

My Dad came out to Rhode Island on the 12th and stayed for a week. Atlas loves my Dad, so the two of them had some adventures while I stayed home with Cosby and Nick was at school or doing school work.
They went to see some battleships, the zoo, a train ride, the aquarium, and I went with them to Disney on Ice, and to see the movie Paranorman.

All Nick has been doing lately is reading nonstop. Cosby wants to be held at all times, even when sleeping, and so sometimes I see Nick wandering around like this.

Atlas always wants to be right next to his brother. (They have very different skin tones... and head sizes)

Cosby already looks a lot different. I can't seem to get a picture that shows how cute he really is. We can't tell what color his eyes are going to be yet. They are a really dark blue on the outside, but close to the pupil is brown.

Atlas always wants an audience. He loves for Cosby to watch him play games.

Still no jealousy issues, just issues or too much affection.

Our awesome friends The Wheelers sent us some cool gifts. Atlas wouldn't make a normal face while I photographed him in his new shirt from them to show them.

We went to a cookout at Atlas's preschool on Saturday and the teacher told me that Atlas has a bit of a girlfriend. After that we went to a birthday party for a boy in our ward and Atlas loved it. Other than that, not much going on, just a lot of hanging out at home with little boys.

A friend of mine is pregnant with her second and I have been emailing her through my pregnancy. I told her about all the worries I had while I was pregnant about wondering if I would love the baby as much as I loved Atlas, or if I would love Atlas less because I was exhausted after the baby came. Even up until I went into labor I wondered if I had the capacity and patience to love two little boys. I worried that Atlas would struggle with the change as well. My friend emailed today to ask how all of that was going. I have been thinking about it a lot since baby #2 came, and I have surprised myself by what I have found over the course of the last week.

First off, Nick and I choose to space our kids out by 3+ years because I wanted Atlas to be a little older so that I could reason and explain things to him. We did our best to prepare him for his coming brother, which wasn't hard since pregnancy is incredibly long, and because he is just generally a really happy and kind kid. He loves people and was very excited to get a brother. That excitement hasn't worn off. I am super lucky to have such a good little helper. We haven't had any jealousy problems whatsoever.

Atlas is constantly amazed by Cosby. He loves to see how different they are size wise, he laughs every time Cosby sneezes and he always wants to be near him.

I think it's partly because I see so much love radiating from Atlas, and partly because having a little baby to compare Atlas to and remember that he was once like that as well, has made me realize just how awesome Atlas really is. Somehow having another child has made me love my first even more, which I honestly didn't think was possible. On the other hand, knowing that in a few short years Cosby will be as big as Atlas has made me cherish him in his newborn state even more.

I feel like my capacity to love has expanded, like I love all the members of my little family a little more than I ever even thought I could.  I was much less stressed coming home from the hospital this time around. I knew what to expect a little more and I wasn't recovering from major surgery, which made bonding with my baby much easier.

Don't get me wrong, I am exhausted and a little hormonal and crazy, but overall I feel a huge sense of peace and comfort being with my family. The feelings of being overwhelmed occasionally come, but not as often as the first time around. Atlas went to his first full day of preschool yesterday and I missed him so much I cried my eyes out and checked the clock every ten minutes to see if it was time for him to come home. Holding a baby is amazing, but there is something to be said about having a kid who entertains you. With Atlas around, being with just baby is much less lonely so it is easier to love the crap outta both of them.

I feel like my heart has grown 3 sizes :)

I could just stare at either one of them all day. I am super proud of them and think they are nearly perfect. Cosby gets cuter by the hour and they both look like little baby angels when they sleep. I feel incredibly blessed. Exhausted, and blessed. Having two kids is not a cakewalk, but loving them- that part is pretty easy.

This week started out normal. Atlas was eating pickles like every other day,

while we waited around for our new baby to come. I was pretty positive I was going to be waiting until my c section date next week,

but baby had some other plans and showed up Wednesday September 5th, weighing 8lbs 9oz.

Atlas thinks he is pretty cool.

He likes to measure how small he is with his hands.

He thinks it's all pretty funny.

After insane deliberation and a few tears (on my part, so let's blame it on exhaustion) we had to choose a name. We had 5 we liked and eventually got down to 2. His name is Cosby Maxwell Potter. Go ahead and text me now how much you hate it (Dad) :)

It was definitely a different experience this time around. Not only in the way the baby arrived but by being alone in the hospital. Nick had a crazy few days as he dashed about going to school, visiting us, taking Atlas to his first day of preschool and to our friends house to be tended, all while stopping back home a few times in between to take the dog out and run various errands. Needless to say I didn't see him a whole lot. It was pretty much just me and Cosby at the hospital. My sister sent me some amazing smelling flowers that brightened my stay, and all my nurses were great.

I am very glad to be home now. Atlas just wants Cosby to watch TV with him.

Right now Nick is at his first day of teaching college. We laughed when he got his first email to "Professor Potter." We can now all start addressing him as "The Professor." I am on my first day on the job of being a mom of two. So far, so good, but mostly because Cosby is still tiny and sleeps non stop. I am sure things will get more interesting soon.

He is cute, but very smooshed still. He is having a hard time figuring out how to eat. He also has an irregular heart beat that a cardiologist is going to be following up on, but they think it is something that will work itself out. Other than that, he is a healthy and beautiful baby boy. I feel very lucky.